Why did I want to grow up?

When I watch my younger sisters run around smiling, laughing, being totally carefree. I wonder why the hell did I wish to grow up, to be honest being older sucks. I don't know about others but my parents aren't any less strict, I have homework 24/7, and not to mention countless drama within my social life. If anything I wish I was a little girl who could care less about how she looks, run around in little dresses and tutus screaming songs. Making dumb jokes and talking about how boys are gross and they have cuties. I would give anything to be 6 years old and only having to color and learn how to write my name and my age then eating snacks out on the playground or playing tag all recess. I remember never having any drama, and only crying when I was pushed down, but its easy to wipe away some dirt but not so easy to shake off a bad grade. At age six grades didn't even exist, songs, story books, rhymes, and fun was the only thing I knew.  If running around shirtless was still socially acceptable, then I'd be the first. Back when I was young every photo was a good photo, if I looked like sh*t then we laughed and if I looked great then I would smile and say thank you. Now every photo of me seems to be awful and sends this unnecessary chill down my spine. Meanwhile I'm wondering who's going to see this... or better yet what if someone makes fun of the photo. If everyone could age but still have the self confidence of a six year old the world would be a much better place, more girls with nicer hearts, more acceptance worldwide.

Photos: Rebecca Owen

I look at my little sisters who will go to school without a worry, their hair is neatly tied back by my mother then they each get into their chosen outfit. No second guesses on how good they look, just put on all the necessities and get to school. No boys to comment on how fine they are looking or girls to turn around and gossip about how you wore that same outfit last week. They just happily skip off to school together laughing and smiling, as for me I spend at least 30 minutes debating on wether to change the outfit or keep it as is. Or the worst is when you wake up with a zit that makes you self conscious and to the point where you feel like everyone is just staring right at your zit thinking to themselves how ugly it is. Little girls can walk out the door smiling and thinking about how many new friends they can make that day. My younger sister always comes home telling us how great her day was and how nice her teacher was. Then when it comes to me I am barely able to keep my eyes open, and eventually I manage to complain about the amount of tests or a huge project coming up. If only I had never wished to grow up and date guys, because it only creates more drama and more work. If only having a best friend still existed, my younger sister has playdates, and they play barbies and makeup silly handshakes while laughing and smiling never regretting one moment. I used to think at that age I was too controlled but turns out as a freshman there is more control over me than ever between being onetime to sports and submitting quality work to the teachers. 

Video: My Camera

The little girl I babysit always is smiling until she realizes that she has to take a nap then she looses it, but she's always happy and wears the cutest outfits. When babysitting for her she marches around like a queen and throws out little sassy commands just for a little giggle. This. This is what I miss, being small, cute, funny, and an absolute delight to be around. She makes me smile on a bad day and doesn't even intend to. From her curly hair tied up in a little bow to there tiny toes she is 100% adorable and melts your heart.  Just knowing that one day she to will have bad days filled with homework and mean friends break my heart. How can something so petite and sweet turn into someone who gets called names or made to sit at another lunch table because there isn't enough room. Thats awful, and where it all begins. A little angel that is smiling almost all the time can turn into an angel who is frowning all the time. In my opinion life starts out so happy and full of life but as you slowly move along you loose the constant sparkle in the corner of your eye or you loose the silly laugh because someone thinks you sound dumb. If we could all stay 2 1/2 for ever there would never be a murder or calling another baby fat, but tons of giggling and smiles that create a happy earth.

Photos & videos: My Camera

If wearing cute little coordinated outfits were still in style, then I would be all over it. Remember dressing up for valentines day,  easter, halloween, ect. and everyone would having little skirts or dresses on. Those were the good old days when you could wear whatever you wanted and still rocked it.

Photos: My Camera